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Thursday, October 28, 2010

Adventures in Honesty

So.

Today was definitely a 9, and I'm a little scared. I don't...really know what to do with myself these days except keep on the face, stay busy, keep moving.....Not really sure how long that's gonna last.

Mm.

Stay positive people. This thing will turn around.

Peace Be
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Monday, October 18, 2010

Adventures in Memory

So.

I was cleaning the apartment on Saturday (read: searching frantically for my Social Security card which I thought had been accidentally discarded), and I stumbled upon the program from my high school graduation. And I know...I should have put it away quickly without any second look, but instead I sat and stared for a good hour or so....

I miss Maurice.

I would love to hear what he has to say about the last seven years of my life. I hate the fact that I've had to spend seven years without him. I hate that he's not going to be around for the next seven. I hate that every time I bring up missing Maurice, people go to reminding me how blessed I was to take my own car that day; how blessed I was to take a different route home...instead of...it really sucks that half your pair of best friends went and died on you. Especially now when the other half won't speak to you. Mm.

He would get a kick out of all of this...the getting into Wake, the living in North Cacky, the being paid to teach people things....he'd be proud of me I think. Even with all the craziness and not getting it right most of the time, he'd be proud.

Anyway.

iWPS qualifiers next week. I'll keep you posted.

Peace Be

Also. Prayers for Mom Dukes - she's not doing well these past few days.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Adventures in Almost-Poetry

So.
As per usual, I have pawned off the beginnings of one of my piddly pieces of poetry onto someone far more talented than myself for completing and correcting. But, as....not...per usual, I really wanted to share with you all (yes...all 6 of you) the first line of said po-em, since it kinda of sums up my mood over the past week or so.

And it goes...

when all of the metaphors have been reduced to the names of lovers who no longer want you
what will you have then
save a notebook full of reasons to stop your scribbling?

I started it....awhile ago...when things were better, but I found it again while flipping through my notebook recently and I was like...."oh. these are the words to express how i'm feeling. perf."

That whole....anywhere-but-here thing is settling in hard, and I really want to leave the Dash...immediately.

Peace Be

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Adventures in Highway Maintetnance

So

We need to come up with a new way for me to de-stress. I've jumped on 52 almost every day this past week, spending hours going up and down that highway....and I still don't have a clear head.

Suggestions?

Peace Be