Adventures in Po-e-try

So.

Not an altogether new piece, but I shared this on the Poetry Cafe with Josephus III a week or so ago, and I thought I'd share it with the good folks (6 folks?) who frequent this space.

Enjoy.
---

every girl I know got a story she don’t tell nobody else

watch her shoulders shrug when she think about the man that did her wrong

or the mother who wasn’t there

see her tight lipped and teary eyed

to carry all that struggle

like a brown paper sack for luggage on the greyhound away from home

you’d never know

that girl cried herself to sleep every night last year

when she learned how it felt to miss the child she’d never held in her arms

all that kind word

and cute smile

come at a price you gotta be crazy to pay

if not crazy

then female

and trying to make it through this world

while carrying a life-long shoulda been list

with unreal realizations

like

i should have left the first time he hit me

or I should have never come back home

we travel heavy

and mostly silent

and believing that’s what strong is

like the quiet keep of pain is the surest sign of resilience

every girl I know got a mean code switch

we say fine

and ok

and I’m doing great

when inside we are shatter and space

all hurricane and the quiet after the storm

as though greater harm come if we sorrow out loud

so we hide away

don’t tell a soul

every girl I know

knows better than silence when she sees it in one of her friends

but for ourselves we double standard for real

but here’s what I know

my story

is more crocodile than pixies dust

and i’ve lost a few things that I came here with

but even the hard part make the whole fantastic

and there is no shame in that

no shame in the pieces that bow our heads for a moment  to open and cry

so why  not cry out

tell one soul the one thing you have locked inside of your voice box

there’s nothing to lose

except the lonely of being trapped inside your own silence

Adventures in Rediscovery

So.

I wrote a version of this poem a long while ago and have recently rediscovered what it meant. And while I'm not necessarily a fan of the sentiment, I am a fan of the piece. Again thanks to Kholi and Chriss for being the kind of friends that write poems with me.
-----

this moment is repetition

we stand still,
refusing to trust ourselves,
gathering
facts like lies
like seashells,
searching for fullness amidst broken pieces,
placing points together with
the futile hope
that
something
will be again

made whole.

bound as we are,
we grasp for memories,
our opinions of self,
listless mosaics
of alter-reason-
thick resentment.
unsure what is what
or
where
or
which belongs to whom
just needing to
hope to see them stay,
hesitantly defining our needs against
the insufficient
provisions of another,
comparing bounties with no real expectations
of bona fide treasures.

i scatter my collection at your feet:

i have been lying here nearly 300 days
fact

waiting
fact

for you to make mutual sacrifice
fact fiction.

with every shallow breath I tense
each smile, a trinket, charm, a check yes on the
letter Ive written to you and hidden
in my heart

I am lying here
Waiting

becoming all you never asked me to
those things to which you’ve merely shown a preference
I am your made bed and all the trash cans emptied and
breakfast made to meet your rising
I have been a rough and hot
meeting in the dark
or on the floor
where I have been lying here …

I see all i wish for us
fact
in you:
fiction

the promise of peace and safe and home, and me,
fact
never to be broken again
fiction

i will never leave.
fact.

we're grownups now
fact, fiction
we know more than the bittersweet
fact
we know better
fiction

i think “us” will never bear a love poem
fact

i can learn to be ok with that
fiction