Adventures in Sulking

so.

today was the first day since "the incident" my first year, that i was legitimately concerned that i was going to lose my job. i spent much of the morning searching the faculty handbooks, looking through the civility policies, professional standards, the whole nine - trying to piece together a reasonable explanation for when i was called to the carpet this morning.

but the more i searched, the more i pieced....the less worried i became about the outcome of this meeting. i mean, i have said "i don't care" before - but i really did not care whether or not today was my last day inside of that school buidling. i tried to drum up some concern about the nothing that is in my bank account, and parlay that into some desire to fight for this job...but it would not happen.

and then i tried to garner the testicular fortitude to turn in my 30 days and peace out, but i couldn't do that either. i have sense enough to know that too much purposelessness in my days will be the thing that finally makes me jump off a bridge or something, and so i can't quit my job until i have some sort of direction. that, however, requires some knowledge of what it is i want to do with myself, and i don't have it. i couldn't even convince myself that i really wanted to pursue writing in any way that could stave off homelessness.

i'm 26. i'm unhappy. i'm lonley. i hate my job. and i have no goals.
the following comes to mind:

Peace Be

Adventures in Po-e-try

Here's a little ditty that sort of spilled onto the page a couple days ago:

26 years ago today, a child was born
in the same way
3 years from now, a stranger will die
down the block from the ribbon cutting of a brand new business
hours before the wedding bells chime
they will sound like angels welcoming home
the first baby to be aborted that day
there will be birthday cake
and wishing on stars
trips to the cemetery
then to the synagogue
shoulder of the highway to place fresh flowers near a cross
then on to a festival of light and music
to conjure a storm from the folly of time
we dance
the world over in celebration
of these moments no one else will consider sacred
but we hold them like candles
to commemorate a lifetime worthy of passing by
“happy anniversary,” we say
or “birthday”
“congratulations”
“i miss him still”
we offer hugs and handshakes
violent tears
to some presents
others presence
and silence
i wonder the stories
that could fill this room
about this day many years ago
about how it rocked us away from the person we always thought we would become
and slowly began molding us into the someone we are now
let’s mark this moment
as the one we realize everyone is guilty
of forcing memories quiet into the camouflage of their skin
as if this world were only hungry for the lie of happy endings
let us celebrate
the love and loss that crumbles us like mountains
take heart in knowing someone else is celebrating too
even if it looks like mourning
the world over with grieve with you

---

I don't have any real commentary on the piece, except to say that I like it - all obvious errors in form and content notwithstanding. Also as of yet there's no title...mainly because I suck at them. Our good friend Kholi has a version of this  piece that you should check out here, and then be sure to check out all the other iMagnificence that she's got happening over yonder.

Also - school is back in full swing, so be on the look out for my upbeat postings concerning the current state of education, examples of high-quality parenting, and bright future of our world...(is it too early for sarcasm?)

Peace Be

Adventures in Spelling

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Adventures in Comedy

Jess has done it again. I find it....high to mid-larious. 

Peace Be

Adventures in Explosives

So.

This particular piece of iGoodness was brought to me by Google Reader this morn.

Peace Be

Adventures in Creeping Out the Neighbors

So.

As is normally the case when I don't quite feel up to going into the house, I was sitting in my car watching YouTube videos. Now normally, I watch the latest Philip DeFranco, check and see if Kid Fury has said anything outrageous, maybe see what's going on with Page Meets Stage....and then go inside. But yesterday, I was held deep in the clutches of everything Ken Arkind has posted on the web.

[side note: that's a lot of linkage...don't say i don't fulfill your "bored at work" needs. end note]

In any case, I'm sitting in the car...bursting into raucous laughter...or...you know...sobbing as the case may be (not real life sobbing....small...why can't i be as talented as ken teardrops), when I notice the slow and deliberate circling of a red vehicle. Of course, I immediately start gathering my belongings, because any time a car passes twice with no purpose...something shady is usually in the process of going down, and I didn't want to be present when things went wrong. My intent - to be in the house by the time this car made it around for a third time; however, by the time I looked up from having collected my bag...this dude was definitely parked behind my vehicle, making preperations to exit.

[side note: haven't prayed for real in a minute...you better belive I had some words with Jesus right then. end note]

So. As this guy is making a casual...creepy stroll to the car, I immediately crank up...because if need be, I will ram his little red Honda and flee; I will not be punked in the parking lot of my own apartment complex. But before I took drastic action, he had sped to a light jog and tapped on my window...'twas Tim...the maintenance guy for the complex; he had gotten mad calls about a crazy woman sitting outside my apartment and was coming to investigate....trag.

I have no...insight to add to this tale beyond...I must...do better.

Peace Be

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Adventures in Comedy

So.

This is brought to you by the homie Jessica Hagy. It is....my life.

Peace Be

Adventures in YouTube

So.

I'm secretly in love with this man from Miami whose foolishness is reminiscent of the good ol' HU days (ha!), and so I had to share his latest with you. I will offer that I am morally opposed to much of what comes out of his mouth, but other bits do quite literally make me laught out loud....think of him....what you wish.

Peace Be

Adventures in Algebra

Don't know if I've posted this before. If I have...I don't really care....because you need it again. Enjoy

Peace Be