Adventures in Bridesmaidery

so.

i've...more or less survived this pre-wedding weekend with one of my oldest friends and various bridesmaids out here in burlington. of course by survived - i mean we are currently nursing the bride-to-be's mega hangover. you all may be familiar with the more common symptoms of headache and mild nausea, but this girl runs the full gambit of possible hangover symptoms, and if it's anything like the last time we got wasted together - she'll be pretty out of it until much later on this evening.

the weekend was hard in an entirely different way than i expected it to be. i will admit to having a rough moment and a half on yesterday evening, but i rallied relatively quickly and well and ended up having a pretty decent time [sidenote: praise god for friends that respond quickly when you send out the "i'm spiraling" text message. i was, in some sense, overwhelemed by the response]

in other news - being broke is not fun. as conflicted as i am about the end of the summer approaching, i want the end of this particular month to hurry up and get here. so much to do, so few resources with which to get it done.

peace be

Adventures in Mysticism

so.

i've got someone new poking around in my brain, trying to help me make more sense of myself. she's got an actual couch in the office, which we know i'm not a huge fan of, but i tried not to judge her immediately - even though it was floral and kinda uncomfortable (and not uncomfortable in that psychosomatic way...but actually lumpy and unsupportive).

the whole experience of it felt sort of...inauthentic on several levels. to begin - the first session with someone knew is more "vitals" and "history" than anything else, and beyond that, there's an acute awareness on both sides of the conversation that i'd rather not be participating in the whole... "i'm crazy; talking about it will help" enterprise.

however.
she keeps hershey kisses instead of peppermints;
she's mildly hilarious;
and she shut up long enough for me to think.
so she gets another visit.

homework for visit number two - write a poem about God.
any thoughts on how to pull that off?

peace be

Adventures in Po-e-try

So.

For some odd and unknown reason..the weather has trickled its way into my work lately. And not in any clear or cohesive way...but in that lofty carrie rudzinski sort of way. Not that i think i write anything like her, but in this way that the reaction to her work is so completely visceral, you never really care whether or not you understand what she's talking about.

To sum up:
I'm writing weird poems.
None are finished.
I don't know what they're about.
Here's one for you to enjoy.

---

i am walking down the highway
into the eye of the storm
searching for a metaphor
in how the lightning flashes
when i realize
the sky don't change colors
the blue they will be in the morning
is the blue they are right now
if only it were light enough to see
and the strobing electric crack of thunder
is trying to show us the sameness of it all
and i wonder why i am afraid