Adventures in Katrinatown

Katrinatown 2010

1.
He is a torn denim jacket and dusty black boots with no laces that have never fit him
Dry lips that would smile if they remembered the steps
And a stomach kissed hard to the backbone
He carries in pocket a notebook of poems and a pencil on its last breath
This is day 7 of temperatures flung near freezing
Day 2 that he can’t feel his fingers
And he asks me where I think God is.

2.
Tent city is nothing to smell at high noon after weeks of rain
There is not light enough to make this pretty
Not hope enough to make it clean
I wonder
Why the suicide rate is so low
The answer:
No one here can afford a rope

3.
He asks if I believe in mercy killings

4.
I believe guns can kill people
It’s just hearts usually get to first
We lock our words in the chambers of our heart
And spin with the swelling of our lungs
I tell you
"I love you"
Is nothing to Russian roulette with
Good intentions are worse

5.
Did you intend to send help someday?
Are your intentions still in the mail?
Did you know good intentions promise just as much as the promise of reparations?
We will cash your good intentions as soon as my grandmother gets 40 acres
We will compile those good intentions to build houses on our land

6.
I have already seen the blueprints
Of a bigger and better city
A Cajun fried tourist trap of a town with riverboats down on the bayou plans to buy out every laundromat selling po’ boys and cleaners with the secret to gumbo
We will French Creole sprinkle hoodoo around a café named Lower 9th
And the rest will be just a memory

7.
Do you remember?
1965
And her name was Bessie
And they made no secret
Brought dynamite to make tinker toys of the levees for her to play with
She made angel dolls of men to give as hand me downs to her children
Like “Look Katrina
See what Mommy can do
Now see if you can do it bigger”

8.
There is a fine line between administrative mistake and
Government sanctioned genocide

9.
He has never been a thief
Won the class spelling bee in first grade
Was the only one to remember the capital ‘A’ in America
Now left fiending for aid in America
Because he can’t claim enough capital
He’s just collateral damage in a call from the Capitol
Saying, “Get those body bags ready”
We are years removed from the eye of the storm and still as blind as ever
I want to tell him God his present
But look at his shelter and get confused

10.
If the people of New Orleans still cant’ rest
My God
What is Haiti going to do?

--
Also - congrats to Eurydice, Renaissance, and Krosswords, I can't wait to see what's going to happen.

Peace Be

Adventures in Motherhood

So.

Here are the rules: we're going to talk about this once and only once, and then we're going to forget i mentioned it. kay?

mom is sick. has been for awhile now, and it hadn't bothered me before...but now i'm concerned. i've been here since tuesday, and in that time she's eaten a slice of french toast, half a bowl of soup, couple crackers, one chicken wing, and some corn. today, is when she had the chicken, corn, and toast; my pop says it's the most she's eaten in any one day since thanksgiving. when we read "'twas the night before christmas" before bed, something in my spirit said "this is the last christmas you have with her", and i have yet to shake it. i want to crawl into bed with her like i did once when i was little and hold her, but i know the touching would hurt. she winces when we hug her and hopes we don't see. ok. i lied. i'm not concerned. i'm a little scared.

mm.

Peace Be

Adventures in Argument and Forgiveness

been trying not to dwell. trying to say something that sums up how i feel...been trying not to feel. unsuccessful on all accounts.

well. not dwelling so much. i taught the babies with a smile on my face. i packed. i drove home. i laughed it off when the folks asked where he was. got up this morning. started cooking. said funny things when the sweet potatoes started smoking. played rock band with the baby brother. learned to play mah jong...

...and i know it's only been a few days. but having no real awareness before of how this man has pervaded my life, his very pointed absence is becoming something of a dull ache in the pit of my stomach. i wasn't prepared for it.

mm. i could call him. (yeah, yeah, i know...."you haven't called! *gasp*) but that would take some understanding on my part of the nature of argument and forgiveness. what is a person allowed to say under the umbrella of anger and hurt? i mean...i don't at all pretend to be "blameless" in this situation...but after i've said "i'm sorry" for all that you're angry for, even if you can't offer forgiveness at that point, are you allowed to just froth at the mouth with every hurtful thing you can think of? didn't think so.

....this is the part where i come up with something clever or insightful to tag the post with....not today.

peace be