Adventures in Poetry

I wrote this poem awhile ago, but it felt so fitting to where my heart is today. 

most days

the line between lover and liar

is a tightrope strung between

my heart and  yours

a bible that sits on the night stand

and reminder that i haven’t prayed in years

i still want to pastor when i grow up

be an attorney

maybe a poet

want to frame your picture in mahagony

invite my brothers to share a meal

sometimes

you are not family enough

sometimes

your smile is a circle of light

any halo would dream of becoming

your open door a gate of pearls

and i forget to miss heaven

most days

i settle myself a circus performer

faith in my left hand

love songs in the right

the weight of both a death wish on days

i try to give one release

i cannot imagine an altar so holy

to turn away an open hand

i cannot tell you

how it hurts to believe in a God

that does not love me as i am