Adventures in Happy Endings

So.

A couple days ago I watched happythankyoumoreplease, which is a pretty decent flick that captures that sort of...snapshot of a moment when you realize you're an adult. And it's set in New York. And there's a woman with alopecia universalis. And a small negro. Which is always nice.

As usual, I ignore the larger themes of the movie and focus on the most obscure points in the plot to inform what I believe to be true about the world. In this case - the concept of the one-night stand.

I think that one-night stands are interesting...because they never tend to be as "one-night" as people would suppose. At least not here in your smaller cities or university campuses. I think we've all had that awkward moment where you run across "that guy from last week with the insert-identifying-traits-here"...and wondered how we could have been so naive to think that we could actually never see that person again. I mean never? Really? Especially now in the world of social networking and constant communication - I run into Kanye West's one night stands, my mother's ex boyfriend's one night stands, your one night stands...and yes, that guy from last week with the purply birthmark.

What's even more interesting, is that deep down, I don't know that anyone truly believes in the "one-nightedness" of the one-night stand. We secretly believe that "one-night" will turn into "first-date" will turn into "first anniversary" will become "happily-ever-after".

Which of course got me thinking about what "h-e-a" even means. Of course we're socialized to believe that it means a wedding and children and a marriage that lasts until someone dies...but is that really the only picture of a successful relationship? Can't a successful relationship also be one that only lasts for a few years...if at the end of that time, both people can make the healthy decision to separate from each other? If we accept that friendships grow and change, why can't we accept that in a romantic relationship, there may come a point where the couple (or "grouple" if you dig the polyamorous vibe) should separate? Why does it always have to be some tragic heartbreak that ends a relationship? Some grand event that takes what you thought might add up the greatest years of your life and shadow them with pain, distrust, and a whole host of other emotions that require vodka and cheesecake to set straight? I tend more towards the thinking that if we trust ourselves to see the right moment to enter a relationship, we should also trust ourselves to find the right space to exit.

Just watch the movie. It's worth the 100 minutes.

Peace Be