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Monday, January 24, 2011

Adventures in COGIC Dating

So.

In order to fully explain the concept of two COGICs dating...I'd have to begin with a thourough examination of caste systems and arranged marriages as practiced by certiain feudal soceities in the early Asian dynasties...but instead I'll leave you to your own reasearch concerning those matters, and trust that the previous statement alone will give you some basic understanding of what it was like to be me, at Starbucks, last night.

I would not dare suggest, that the COGICs have divided the members into classes...and we definitely do not promote arragned marriage...however....having a conversation with a COGIC boy who wants to date you...might go something like this:

Me: You're a great guy and I'm glad we're friends, but I'm not trying to date anyone right now.
Him: I can be patient.
Me : I....really don't think that's a wise decision on your part.
Him: I think that you're going to be ready to date much sooner than you think.
Me: What?
Him: I think that you're going to be ready to date much sooner than you think .
Me: pause...Look. I appreciate [bla, bla, bla....] but seriously...if you can't just be my friend then...we should stop hanging out.
Him: We are not hanging out.
Me: [confused and slightly angry face]
Him: This is a date.
Now. What's even more tricky is why a conversation would go like this. It is not natural stubborness...it is not actual oblivion...it is not even that he's certain that he likes me all that much - it is because he is COGIC and at some point...he had a conversation with his Pastor that went like this:

Him: I think I'm ready to take a wife (yes....he probably said this)
Pastor: Really?
Him: Yes sir
Pastor: What makes you think you're ready?
[Secret man-talk about what makes a man "ready" to "take" a wife.]
Pastor: Well son, do you have an eye on anyone in particular?...
and then that conversation led to one that went like this:

His Pastor: One of the sons of my house has an eye on one of your daughters (again...yes...he probably said this)
My Pastor: Is he saved? Does he have a good job? Can he keep a house? Did he finish school?
His Pastor: Yes sir.
My Pastor: Then who does he have his eyes on?
His Pastor: That young girl on your Praise Team.
My Pastor: Well, yes....she's...of age, good church worker....smart...yeah....don't know if she's interested in getting married too quickly....but she'll make a good wife.
Meanwhile: this is not even what's difficult about the process....it is now there are like....secret systems of matchmakers in place at both churches, monitoring the progress of the "relationship" and I DON'T EVEN DATE HIM.

[sigh]

This is the kind of thing that'll drive a good member to the Baptist church.

Peace Be

1 comment:

  1. Wowwwwwwww! So true. So what does the female do?

    ReplyDelete