how to love a rape survivor
do not waste your energy reminding her that you are not him
tell her she’s beautiful
and unbroken
and every bit still deserving
remember your mother
the day you realized that she too was fragile
be the boy who ached to shelter her safe in your arms
forget everything you’ve learned from watching made for tv movies
every story is as different as the girl who has to tell it
remember that upstairs at a college party
is no different than midnight in an abandoned alley
that some bruises turn inward at family reunions
and others never show at all
be careful
but not too careful
be aware
but not a reminder
remember the girl is more than just one thing
to be held in the light and examined
forget what you know of protection
this is more tightrope than bullwhip these days
tell her she’s safe when you see the wander in her gaze
give her space enough to believe you
be comfortable in the silent spaces to which she will take you
be respectful
you’ll never know what really happened here
but learn to treat each sharing as a gift
be courageous
and gentle
let her teach you that balance
be the boy she never believed was coming
remember the man you are
remember
if there is a moment you err too much on the side of rugged
in that second
to her
you are no different than him
forget what you think your words will do
sometimes love is a hug you can runaway from
tell her
you’re sorry
open your palms
and be patient until she returns
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